i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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