We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
