I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
where does the pee come out of this thing
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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