Sponge bath it is.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
