We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
