didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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