I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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