This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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