only if we run a train.
done.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
