That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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