you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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