I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
