they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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