Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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