Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
