Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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