some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
