I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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