Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
