You really coming over, don't trick.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
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she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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