okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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