i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
