put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
