Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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