Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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