I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
