this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i out mim tonsoeep
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