I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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