I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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