no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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