Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm having to shit out rocks
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
