did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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