You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
