U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
