if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize