I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
