Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
