That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
