I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
