Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
