I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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