I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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