hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
