One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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