Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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