He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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