Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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