Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
