don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize