I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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