Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
