never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
