just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
