I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
