North Korea, Best Korea!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
