How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
