He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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