you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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