do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
two words: eviction party
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
