My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
