saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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