Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My vagina just clenched in fear
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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