in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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