he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Boobs speak an international language.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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