it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
